Tuesday afternoon Rant!!

There will always be someone that you have to deal with who has their head so far up their arse that they think they can see the sun. How does one deal with people like this? I for one had a very short tolerance for such kind. The annoyance of the person can be handled so much before I feel the need to smack them one… With words…Violence is not the answer kids!
But let’s be honest here. If there was a person who thought themselves to have such importance to the world, that life would not progress without them, that they are in fact the centre of the universe and that they have done so much more than you and every other Tom, Dick & Harry and went on and on and on about it.. Would you (yes you reading this) be over it????!?!?!?!!!!
I…AM…OVER….IT!!! I will be professional and I will be civil but that my fellow humans will be as far as it goes. However, if u feel the need to speak to me with such rudeness that I am sure even your mother would be ashamed then let it be known that I too will not hold back. There’s a saying… Treat others as you want to be treated…someone said I am not here to make friends. I have friends, and that is the truth.
Rant over.

Grief & Regrets

This afternoon I cried. I cried for my brother who was taken from us 7 years ago. I cried because I miss him. I cried because i was sad that we didn’t talk often, i was sad that I didn’t make the effort to stay in touch often. I was sad that he isn’t here to see his children. I was sad for many reasons – but I was mainly sad becuase I missed him.

People say that time heals all wounds. Well to those people I say  – WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT! Time doesn’t heal, time doesn’t change how you feel. You still miss the person, you still want them back. Yes, you may have better days than others but that doesnt mean that you are healing! Fuck!

You live with regret. Well I know i do. I regret that I didn’t have a stronger relationship with my brother. Yea he was alot older than  me and lived in another country and blah blah blah…. the reality is that I didn’t make the time. And thats the truth and thats what hurts. Yea, i have memories. I have memories of me dancing in the door way when i was whatever age I was and him saying, “ah-ha thats what they teach you in school”. I remember being so embarresed…. I remember laughing about it with my sister. But now I cry coz that is all I have to remember…you might think its ok, and that i should cherish what memories I have  – I want more… and i know…its not possible.

Don’t take for granted the people you have around you. I know everyone says that.  The reality is that they say it when they lose someone.  Don’t be that person.

I miss you, I will always miss you.

One of your sisters xoxox M

Tattoo virginity BROKEN

Well I write to you on this chilly Friday night to tell of my adventures of the day that was today.

I woke up in a rather panic’d way after a dream I had of the tattooist inking me for the very first time in the wrong place and with a saying and not the design i had picked out…..Obviously I was anxious about what was going to happen later on that day right!!!???!!! 

So I proceeded with the day not really fussed about my 2pm appointment, but slowly as the day progressed and as more work colleagues got wind of me acquiring my very FIRST tattoo the nerves started to kick in. By one o’clock i was having heart palpitations, butterflies in my tummy, I had the urge to call Chantelle and tell her that something had come up….but…I took a deep breathe and made my way down to the parlour… and it was there my i lost my tattoo virginity. 

It was painful, it hurt like hell in some areas. There were moments where the pain didn’t really faze me, instead I felt calm. I chatted away to the tattooist while she buzzed away with her gadgets. I remember laying there and I would have moments of “OMG i am getting my first tattoo” or “OMG I haven’t told my parents” but more often that not it was “Holy fuck that spot really hurt”

Chantelle was amazing! She chatted away with me. We laughed about kids being characters. About the unlimited support from my friends on this very memorable event in my life (needless to say they were working, or dont live in town) it was fine. She made me feel comfortable and I knew i was in safe hands! 

Tonight I sit here an wondering how the fuck people can go back for more tattoo’s??? Is it like giving birth, you forget about the pain??? LOL I don’t know.. I don’t think I will go back for another tattoo…. but then again you never know..

Drinks on

Well i know that I made a declaration of not drinking for a whole month. I think i lasted a week and a bit and then it fell on its arse! 

Here I am after a hard day at work, drink in hand, dinner cooking in the oven and typing a blog!

One day i will set a realistic goal and will stick with it. Maybe i should just go week by week 🙂

I’m OUT..

The part-time drinker/party animal

You know how we have all made that declaration that we will never, EVER drink again??? Yes I know you are nodding your head! Well this is me declaring that to the universe! I MARIA MCKAY declare that I will not drink alcohol for a whole month! 

My husband often tells me that I drink too much. Its not that I drink every day because I don’t but when I do drink it tends to be more than it should be. He doesn’t drink at all. I should be like that, but I’m not. To give you an idea of how often I drink it would be about twice a month. 

So, anyway, me over drinking can lead to excessive mindless dribble about anything and everything from me thinking I am the greatest singing and should be signed to a label to watching a horror movie. It also includes drunken face-booking which leads to stalking of exes, friend requests to people who you have no intention of being friends with in “real’ life, drunken texts and the killer drunk calls!!!!! 

I am guilty of all of the above & i bet I am not the only one in this whole damn world that has done this! No I am one of many who will drink way to much and basically make a fool of themselves!!!

The worst part about the next day is not only the hang over but the whole remembering what you did part! Fuck that is a killer. Then slowly you start to remember who you called (thanks call log) and who you messaged, and you start to kick yourself, and get anxious about what you did and you decide that it would be the best thing if you left the country coz you couldnt bear to see those people face to face… I know you’re nodding as you read this, and you cringe at the thought of your own situation. I know ok, I KNOW!

Sigh…. I was caught in a pickle on the weekend, and called a few people – not to hassle them but basically to see if I could get a lift home. It all ended OK coz i found the number of the taxi and before I knew it I was home, safe and sound. But it leads me to think that it really isn’t worth it you know. Its not worth the hangover the next day, its not worth the  huge telephone bill at the end of the month, its definitely not worth my health. 

This is where my declaration kicks in.

I won’t drink for a whole month beginning today.

I will blog everyday from now on tell you how I’m going. And should I have a drink between now and the end of the month well I will just need to do it all over again. I need to commit to this! I need to start.

So wish me luck and watch this space! 

The part-time drinker/party animal!